Like That Would Ever Happen
by iDrownFishes0
Summary: Beacon has started a new year and the teams are newly initiated. Four boys sit around a table playing a game, and one of them has a crazy thought. A Rule 63 work of fiction.


"GARNET ROSE!"

A fist slammed into the table, filling the once-peaceful library with the distinct sound of straining wood and rattling game pieces.

The offending slammer spoke with a booming, dramatic voice, and pointed at the black and red-dressed brunette boy across from him. "Prepare to be invaded! And I won't go easy on you just because we're brothers!"

"I'd have it no other way, Xiao Long!" The brunette boy's voice was not as powerful as the blonde's, but he stood and met his hard stare with equal enthusiasm. "Bring it on!"

The two unlikely brothers shouted their plays, slamming cards down and dramatically describing the terror being inflicted upon each other's forces. Whitley, a white-haired boy with a thin ponytail draped over one shoulder, and the third of the four players at the table, silently darted his eyes back and forth between their cards, the board, and his own hand. His whole face was scrunched into a look of deep focus.

"NOOO!" Garnet's forehead hit the cardboard, startling Whitley with the outburst. He thought he had been following along okay, but apparently not. He grumbled, wondering A: how he got stuck playing as Vacuo, and B: how they have not gotten kicked out of the library yet. "Okay, I admit, I'm lost. Clearly you both have played this before. A lot. But I have no idea what's going on."

"Garnet used a fleet of warships to bypass my Ursai, flying directly into my territory with no resistance."

"And that's… bad for him?"

"It is after activating my TRAP CARD!" Another tooth-rattling slam into the table. Whitley bristled. He raised his arms high above his head with curled fingers and a mad gleam in his eye which may or may not have flashed red for a second. "It released a giant Nevermore that laid waste to such pitiful efforts to topple my Kingdom!"

"How did you manage to trap a Nevermore and do exactly as you command? As a matter of fact, how are Grimm forces a thing at all in this game?"

"Ugh, _Whitley_." The blonde-haired boy, Duong, dropped his wide and heavy arms to his side and slumped. "You worry way too much about the details. No wonder you can't follow along! Just have fun with it, go with the flow." Duong's arms did a wavy motion out in front of him.

"I can't help being detail-oriented. I just have so many questions..."

"Well forget the damn questions and take your turn already!" Their fourth member, with a hand resting on his lightly-fuzzed chin and leaning on his elbow, had hardly moved a muscle through all of the commotion, his amber eyes staring off at nothing. One of the extra ears atop his head, out for the world to see, twitched involuntarily at the sound of his name.

"Dove… Remnant to Dove!" Duong waved his hand in front of Dove's face, making him shake his head back and forth and turn his attention back to his teammates. "Huh?"

"I said it's your turn! You've been even more quiet than usual for all this game, and that's saying something. I don't know how you do it."

"Some of us don't feel the need to fill every waking moment with our own voice." Despite Whitley's passive-aggressive comment, Duong kept his train of thought on track.

"Seriously, you and I should go out drinking, I bet that'll loosen you up! Oh man, I would pay to see you drunk."

Whitley threw up his hands. "Unbelievable."

"Yep." Garnet pat Whitley's shoulder. "In one ear and out the other. It's always been that way, you just learn to live with it. Of course, it's easier with other people. Share my pain, Whitley!"

"You shut up too, and don't touch me."

Dove thought about just letting his team bicker and forget about him, but Duong was still staring intently and he knew the blonde would not drop it until he got an answer. There was still a chance he could brush it off…

"Oh, I was just thinking. No need to worry."

"A-HA!" Duong cried. "So we _should_ be worried, just cause you said there was no need!"

"What's the matter?" Garnet halted their bickering to inspect his black-dressed teammate. "Something on your mind, Dove? You know you can tell us."

Dove grimaced. He had not meant to word it that way at all, and now his team would surely latch onto it like leeches. Damn his fat mouth. He picked his cards back up, attempting to take his turn and move on. " _No,_ guys," he insisted. "I promise, there's nothing wrong."

"But you _are_ thinking of something." Whitley said with a grin. Dove narrowed his eyes. He guessed that Whitley knew fully well that nothing is wrong, but just took the chance to tease him along with Duong anyway.

"Really, it's… stupid."

"Oh, now I HAVE to hear it!" Duong's attention was fully pulled away from the game, sensing the possibility of something funny to happen any time now. "Like what Garnet said, you can say anything! Judgement-free zone."

Dove felt all of their stares directly on him, and let out a long, suffering sigh.

" _Fine_." His eyes rolled off to the side, focusing on anything other than his teammates' faces. "I was just thinking um… what would it be like if we were all girls?"

The very air around them changed. The conversation took a turn that none were ready for, as evidenced by their confused blinking. It couldn't have been more than a couple seconds of quiet, but felt uncomfortably long none the less. The only sound that finally broke the silence was Garnet uttering what each of them were thinking.

"… huh?"

"Well... yeah." Dove loosened the scarf around his neck, still refusing to make eye-contact. "Just a funny thought, you know? Interesting to think about." He put his hand of cards up and ducked his head down slightly. It was from an old habit of trying to hide behind a book whenever he did not want to talk anymore.

"Dove," Duong began. "That is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard."

"Yeah, like that would ever happen." Garnet chimed in, but with an innocent smile that was difficult to be mad at.

"Is there something you wanna get off your chest that you're not telling us?" Whitley joined in, his shit-eating grin even wider.

"Why would you even think that?"

"What are you, stupid?"

"You know what the problem is? You read too many of _those_ books."

"I _hate you_!" Everyone looked over at Garnet, who emphasized his outburst by bashing his fists into the thoroughly-punished table. He saw that all eyes were on him now, and shrank back. "What? Too much?"

Dove sighed almost as grandiosely as he had before, and mumbled. "This is why I don't speak."

"Honestly though, I kinda get what you mean," Garnet attempted to save face. "I mean, there could have been some crazy universe where everyone we know is the opposite gender. What would that be like?"

Duong crosses his arms. "Well, Whitley's already basically a girl, so that much wouldn't change."

Whitley was about to defend himself, but a new, feminine voice cut in. "Hi guys!"

The boys each turned their heads toward the blue-eyed girl who greeted them. She wore what she always did, a pair of jean shorts and a long, black shirt, emblazoned with a large bunny symbol. Her blonde hair started to fall in her blue eyes while she walked toward her own team, carrying a stack of books in her arms.

She spared them all a glance, but her gaze hovered on Whitley just a little bit longer than the rest.

"Hey Mari!" Garnet smiled brightly at her.

"Afternoon," Whitley craned his neck to regard the girl behind him.

"Sup." Duong bobbed his head up.

Dove held his palm up toward her. She gave a bright, practiced smile. "You all sound like you're having fun. What are you talking about?"

"Oh not mu-" Dove started, and was interrupted. "We are asking ourselves the real important questions, like what would everybody be like if they were the opposite gender. And he started it!" Duong smacked a hand onto Dove's shoulder. Dove coughed.

"… Thanks for that, Duong."

"Any time bud." Mari put a hand up to her mouth, laughing softly at the boys. "It is a funny idea," she said, and referred to the blonde. "I can't imagine you as a girl."

"I can," Garnet spoke up. "You'd be the prettiest one in the room, and then still solve all your problems with brute force anyway."

"The loudest one too, and with the foulest mouth." Whitley mused.

"Excuse you!" Duong feigned offense at Whitley's comment. "I would be a classy, _fucking broad_."

Amidst the laughter, his eyes became wide as saucers, as if he just came up with the greatest idea ever. " _Guys_ ," he placed both palms on the table. "If you met a female version of yourself, would you try and bang yourself?"

"That's funny, I was just about to tell you to go screw yourself." Whitley quipped. Garnet pulled his hood over his head. "Uuugh, I don't wanna talk about this anymore."

Dove kept quiet, unwilling to admit that he was totally considering the question. _Eh, maybe._

"It's an important question!" Duong asserted. "We _need_ to know these things."

"I'm just going to go back to my team, I'll see you all later!" Mari walked away a bit too quickly, her face reddened.

Whitley shook his head. "Poor thing is so easily flustered. Anyway, that would be weird, and you're weird for bringing it up."

"None of you are any fun!" Duong said loud enough that Mari could definitely hear him.

Dove was looking over at their friend's table, and saw that after sharing some words he could barely hear with their leader, they decided to get up themselves. They came up close to their table, and Dove could not help but be amused by Mari hiding behind Phyrrus, probably to avoid their conversation.

The tallest and broadest of the group, Gorman, addressed them. "Hey, you guys wanna come with us? It's almost time to go and pick our missions!"

"Yeah, I guess we should. We've stopped playing our game anyways." Garnet said, getting up from his chair. "Besides, I think everyone in the library hates us right now."

The four looked around the room to catch glimpses of hunched over students, their dirty looks quickly focused on something else as soon as they were caught. "Ah, who cares," Duong waved it off. "They don't like us, each and every one of 'em can suck my dick. Matter of fact, line starts to my left! Tends to lean that way, they might get a better angle."

"Duong, shut up." Whitley got up from his seat as well. "You and I also have to go to the training room after we select our mission."

"What? Why?"

"Because you called me a girl and insulted my honor, and for that I shall proceed to fold you into a tiny square."

"Bring it on, you queen!" Duong launched out of his chair with a competitive gleam in his eye. Whitley smirked. It was so easy to get a rise out of Duong and make him do whatever you wanted; just turn whatever you were talking about into a competition.

He was followed Dove, who brought up the rear as all eight of them moved to leave. "And I thought my team was crazy."

Dove looked down at the green-clad girl that had spoken to him, Su. Her calm, pink eyes looked at him with a reserved smile, and she brushed her white-streaked hair out of the way. He had to admit, she was gorgeous, with flawless skin that reminded him of a porcelain doll.

Whenever their teams got together, or passed each other down the halls, the two would politely nod at one another. There was an unspoken agreement that they were kindred spirits, both feeling as though they were the only ones keeping their respective teams grounded.

"They're good guys," he said, watching their bickering increase in intensity since Gorman was now goading them on. "That's just what it looks like when we're getting along."

"I would hate to see a bad day between you four," she said offhandedly. Dove hummed in agreement, but thought it best not to continue. It hit close to home.

Having a Faunus and a Schnee on the same team was bound to create tension. After initiation, Whitley had to cope with not only not being named leader as he had hoped, but with being led by said faunus. He had not taken kindly to such a fate.

They have had a lot of ups and downs since then, and the issues between them still were not fully resolved. That means plenty more bad days were inevitable.

But now was not the time for gloom! They had a big week ahead, and one has to savor the little moments like these while he could. His silly idea of all of them hypothetically being girls made him shake his head.

Where did he come up with this stuff?

* * *

 **(A/N)** You know their names, can you guess what the team names are?

If a lot of things seem different, just know there is a method to the madness. This is to introduce some concepts I've been brainstorming with.

I know this has probably been done before, but who's interested in reading a full length story about these characters?


End file.
